Grinder

A few posts ago, I mentioned my grandfather and the coffee grinder that sat in the corner of the side table that sat between the rocking chair and the breakfast table on the enclosed porch of his house where I spent most of my time as a child when I visited him.

Turns out my aunt was in possession of it and recently sent it to me. Here it is on top of my living room cabinet:

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I knew I had a picture of it from Days Gone By. And today, my first day of holiday vacation, I found it:

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Can you see it in the upper right hand corner of the photo? It’s blurry, I know. The subject of the photo – as always – was me. I’m wearing the knitted coat and hat my grandparents brought back from their trip to Germany. The photo is stamped April ’71 so this would have been an Easter visit.  I knew I remembered it. It’s nice to have proof.

It’s been an up and down kind of week. One in which I have constantly questioned pretty much everything. Whereas recently I thought I was the kind of person someone would want to date (which does wonders for the self-esteem), I turn out not to be at all. And this fact is not mitigated by knowing that I wasn’t in a situation that would really lead to anything. I just had that gut feeling. And it turned out I was right. Which doesn’t actually make me feel any better. Being human is a very contrary thing. None of it makes sense. Like, why am I holding those balloons? Why did this photo scan black and white when it was shot in color? I cannot tell you.

Clearly, I made a mistake. I seem to make a lot of them. But, I’m not letting the small annoying things ruin my weekend. I plan to head back out on Route One tomorrow and find more old motels. I hope you’re following my roadsidevirginiana.wordpress.com blog. I haven’t been over there in awhile because I haven’t had a chance to travel since October. But the crazy kid/school/work schedule has a holiday reprieve and I’ll have lots of time on my hands. I’m itching to get back on the road.

I’m itching for love and companionship too but those seem harder to find than the instant gratification of discovering another abandoned treasure on the roadside. So one does what one must.

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2 thoughts on “Grinder

  1. In hopes of you not feeling so uniquely alone and unworthy somehow, I will share with you that I struggled a lot in the dating/romance area after I got divorced. I found a lot of weirdos out there, plus I had children and well, lets be honest. Dating is hard especially when the pool of candidates is not very big.

    A friend of mine ended up running interference for me with the online dating sites so she knew all the wretches stories about my loser dating life. She kept saying she ought to write a screen play based on my life. Uh thanks?

    Anyway. Yes, finding someone to be with is hard. If something happens with this marriage, I’ll just stay single and turn even more fully into a crazy cat lady.

    • Thanks! Ha – I am wondering if crazy cat lady status isn’t the best thing for me. But, in the mean time, I have certainly learned what questions to ask. Things that had never occurred to me before. Live and learn.

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