Kraken-faced Autumn Hater

So it’s officially autumn and I, for one, am not happy about it. I know there are so many of you out there who love this time of year and yes, I can sort of see why you do but. This weather change does not agree with my body.

The moment the wind kicks summer to the curb and brings in that dry, fall weather, something in my body turns on a switch in the allergy machine region (which is kept well-regulated by a daily generic zyrtec) and I have an all-day headache that no amount of ibuprofen can get rid of. Everything dries up and I am just tired. Bone tired. All day long. I don’t mind the early evenings but I do mind trying to make myself stay away while I’m driving down country roads. Morning, afternoon, evening, doesn’t matter.

And it brings back the eczema that lives on my left eyelid and surrounds that eye. During the lovely humid summer, it goes away. But as soon as the weather changes….

Red and I stumbled upon Clash of the Titans (the good one; the 1981 version with Harry Hamlin) on tv the other day and watched as Perseus pulled Medusa’s head out of a bag, all the claymation snakes jerkedly writhing around, and held it up to the Kraken who is supposed to be more squid-like but resembles Godzilla more than anything.

Red loved it, the way she loves everything “old”: “OMG, that’s so fake! Wow! This is great!” Have I mentioned lately how much I love this kid? I have? Just yesterday? Okay, good.

Anyway. The Kraken turns….slowly….to stone and then….slowly….begins to crumble into dust, chunk by scaly grey chunk.

That’s how my eyelid feels: like it accidentally looked at Medusa and turned to stone. Or like a toddler snuck into my bedroom and placed a banana sticker (you know – the stickers that come free with every banana) on my eyelid and I’m unable to remove it.

It’s as fun as it sounds. And I’m out of my special vial of cream so I’ll need to go visit the doctor and order up some more before the “affected area” turns as red and angry as my soul.

Red was sniffling and tired yesterday and complained that EVERYONE at school was sick and some boy (it’s always a boy) was coughing on her in art class and she did what she could to turn away from him but it’s a small room and their desks touch. So, she’s done for. Three weeks into school and we’ve had it.

Once daylight saving time is over (and you know how much I hate that shit), I’ll sleep a little better (waking up at 3am instead of 2am, for example) but it’ll still be fall. And then winter. It’ll still be dry and cold except when it’s wet and cold and the sun will dip lower in the sky until it’s continuously at eye-scalding level. Gosh, what fun.

So anyhow. Y’all enjoy your cool weather. I’ll be inside popping ibuprofen and eating my weight in bread products curled up in front of the tv. And slathering on my anti-Kraken cream until next April.

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2 thoughts on “Kraken-faced Autumn Hater

  1. My kids loved that old movie, too. It’s where they learned to pronounce Kraken–since it cracks, it must be pronounced that way!
    Anyway, I don’t really hate autumn, but I’m with you in hating the time of year. I’m in mourning for summer and not even wanting to think about what follows.

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