Okay, so first date is tomorrow. How will we while away the time until then, you ask? Let’s think of other things. Things that aren’t cabbages and kings and all that sealing wax business (though, I really do wish I had my old sealing wax kit. It was a gift when I was around 13. I used it a lot. I don’t know what happened to it.)
Let’s discuss Things I’m Currently Loving:
Neil Patrick Harris’s Choose Your Own Autobiography. Oh. My God. This is the funniest book I’ve read in a coon’s age. Seriously. I have never watched a single episode of Doogie Howser or How I Married Your Mother but who doesn’t know about NPH? I had no idea he was so funny. This autobiography seriously has me laughing out loud. Multiple times per page. Really. You should read it. Seriously. I’ll wait while you check your library’s holdings and make plans to check it out.
Done? Good. You won’t be sorry.
Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly. This book was mentioned by a (new) friend of a friend on FB. It intrigued me. You know how sometimes the right book or song or movie or whatever comes along at exactly the right time? When you are more than ready to receive the message? This is that book. And what’s even odder is that (I’m still doing The Artist’s Way), I read her chapter about addictions at the same time I was reading about them in TAW. How certain things (work, tv, alcohol, drugs, sex, name your time waster) get in the way of the real work you need to do and are just procrastinating out of fear. Yeah. Brown had lots of other really great things to say about relationships and parenting wholeheartedly and how to rid yourself of shame and fear. It was all kinds of awesome and gave me new insight into a lot of disappointing relationships. I’m still sad but I get it.
Orange is the New Black. I’ve heard about this show but was busy watching other things. I have a lot of catching up to do and it doesn’t help that a lot of the great recent shows are on/were on channels I don’t subscribe to. OITNB is hilarious. So much fun and so inappropriate for anyone else in the house to watch with me.
Thank goodness Dusty discovered The Returned. After we finished Lost and FlashForward, we were jonesing for a new series to watch. Dusty found The Returned. We hadn’t realized it was French. With subtitles. But don’t let that scare you away. It’s still in production so once we’re through with what Netflix has, there will be more. It is about dead people who suddenly come back to life and the havoc this causes a small town in the Alps. And something weird is going on with the dam. Are they connected? We’re not sure. It’s gripping television.
Banana Ice Cream. Well. So I’m doing Weight Watchers and have lost 4 pounds and sometimes I want a snack but I’m shit out of points. What’s a girl to do? Well, if you are as lucky as me and have a googler in the house who loves to cook, you have Dusty show you a recipe that involves nothing more than frozen bananas, a little (soy) milk, and a blender. And you have a zero point snack that is like ice cream and very delicious. Slice a banana, place slices on a plate, put the plate in the freezer until the slices are frozen. Place slices in a blender with a bit of milk and blend until creamy. Swear to god. You’ve never tasted anything more delicious. I made some this weekend and added frozen strawberries. To. Die. For. Zero points. Kid you not.
If you’re tired of wonderful things, let’s discuss Things I’m Not All That Crazy About, The Dating Version.
So, after my first week on the site, all the nuts show up. Here are a few things that you might want to avoid if you ever dip into the online dating pool:
1. Yoga freak. If you get a message from someone who asks what kind of yoga you do and then writes a dissertation on the types he likes with links and never asks you a single other personal question…..run. And block him.
2. Phrases that are red flags:
“My wife is unable to have sex due to a myriad of health issues. And I am feeling the need for some passion in my life.”
“I’m separated but not yet divorced.”
The phrase “open minded” which means…..that I’m moving on to the next dude.
“I am legally separated for the last four years, still married for financial reasons.”
The dude with the handle “ballbustr”.
Yeah, so fortunately, I still have good books to read and shows to watch while I block, hide, block and hide these sad men.
Next time: The Date.