It’s the time of year where it’s just so easy to have bad thoughts, to see the grey and the black rather than the color, where it’s too cold to have that positive slant on things we’re told makes us healthier and happier.
But I’m trying.
I’m often cynical about the idea that if you put a thought, a want, into the ether, it will come to you. It’s not magical thinking but it’s something. Often, the thing you think you want isn’t what you really want or need and so you have to be open to what arrives in your lap. Because it doesn’t look like what you told the universe you wanted but it actually is. Don’t be fooled by the wrapping.
This year marks the 10th anniversary of working at where I work. Actually, come March I’ll have been here 11 years, but Workplace holds an awards dinner each December. I always decline because Friday night dinners at work, with children, is the very very last thing I want.
But, there is an award attached to each milestone. Not money – what I really want – but a thing. At 5 years, I got a key chain. I think it got lost.
This year, I’d heard rumors of an etched pint glass which would have been lovely. Instead, to paraphrase Charlie Brown: I got a box.
Which I need like a hole in the head.
But here’s the thing: Since I’ve moved to two different offices in under a year, I’ve packed up various items I hold dear and I have a couple different baggies of sand, shells, sea glass, rocks, etc. from various beaches. Sandbridge, VA; Staten Island, NY; Cancun. I have been thinking in the back of my head for months (so far back it hasn’t even made it onto a list, and boy can I make lists!), that it would be cool to find something to put it all in, where I could see it but where it wouldn’t spill or get messed up, kind of like those zen sand boxes they sell in fancy magazines with little rakes and stones, all of which you can probably find for free but the magazine will sell to you for $39.99.
And then I opened my present and here was a box! With a lid! I was disappointed because I saw that glass in my head. What in the hell would I do with this thing? And then I felt my brain twisting that thought around and creating a different, better thought. To my right were those baggies of sand and rocks and shells. What if…….and I dumped all of them into the box, taped a postcard (sent by a friend) to the inside of the lid and PRESTO!
Instant Vacation Box! When I need a bit of beach during the next few months…I can open the lid and be there. I am learning to see what things CAN be and really ARE instead of what, at first sight, they appear to be. And my first reward is an everlasting vacation. I might need to find a tiny friend to sit in there and enjoy it up close for me. I’ll send that thought out *there* and see what shows up.